Happy Birthday Bryan

I remember it like it was yesterday. Working in the ER I was used to young doctors coming and going. Most of them were extreme flirts looking for the nurse that would help them through the emergency room maze. Bryan Strader was not that kind of intern. In his white coat and glasses he kept himself glued to the attending physicians and only spoke to the nurses when absolutely necessary.

One day, I was at the triage desk when a messenger dropped off many balloons for a "Bryan Strader." I accepted the package and went off to find him. He was in room 3 with a patient. I waited outside until he had finished evaluating and then I presented him with the balloon bouquet. He grabbed them from my hand, said something under his breath, and took them to the break room and left them there. He said nothing to me and appeared very embarrassed.

I thought this guy had anger issues or was extremely stressed. Interns spent a month in the ED before moving on to another specialty. November happened to be Bryan's month and the balloons were indeed for his birthday which was on the 6th of November.

The first time Bryan and I had a conversation is a bit foggy. I believe he said things to me like "Who has #4's ECG?"or "Where is Dr. Zimmerman?" We did not have heart to hearts, but I was somewhat intrigued with this man.

November came and went and Bryan moved on to the medical intensive care unit (MICU). The ER intern for December was Greg Houlihan. Ironically both he and Bryan attended UK medical school and grew up in Lexington. Greg was the opposite of Bryan. He was excessively flirtatious, outwardly funny, and a bit of a clown. The ED staff loved him and his presence was entertaining.

As a single mother of a 3 year old daughter, student nurse and ER employee I had no time for men. On a typical day, I would leave my parents house at 5:30 am, drive 45 minutes to the hospital, attend 7:00 am clinicals or class, drive home 45 minutes to see Grace, put her down for her afternoon nap, drive back to the hospital and start my shift in the ER at 3:00pm working till 3:00am. I lived on diet coke, peanut m&m's and cigarettes. I was skinny,unhealthy, and men were of no importance to me.

I kept my private life private. Only a handful of people in the ER knew that I was single mother. Dr. Houlihan had no idea and made it his mission to get to know me. Out of frustration one evening he said "You are the most anal woman I have ever met, I am going to set you up with Strader!" That is exactly what he did.

One early morning around 2:00am I encountered Bryan in the ER. He asked me if I could show him where the coffee was. He knew where we kept the coffee, but I showed him anyway. He then asked me to be his date at the hospital Christmas party. Shocked, I said yes. I had not been on a date in 4 years. I was scared and didn't know if I should explain my situation or just let it ride.

Bryan was a complete gentleman. We hit it off and my heart ached because I knew that if he knew my story this relationship would cease. The evening was lovely and ended with an innocent peck to my cheek at my parents door step. About a week later we went out again and I was determined to tell him about Grace. I insisted that I pick him up in my car. Grace's car seat was in the back of my car, and I thought he would notice this and ask questions. I was wrong. He did not notice and as we watched a movie my heart was racing because I didn't know how to tell him.

As a single parent, I completely put my life aside. Everything I did was for Grace and her future success. I was all she had and I was going to give her a fair shot. She was my entire life and not telling someone about her was extremely painful.

The movie ended and I proceeded to make a huge fool out of myself. I blurted out my story, crying the entire time, and thus scaring Bryan from ever dating me. Relieved that it was out there I knew a man like Bryan who did everything right, would not want me. I was right.

Dr. Houlihan approached me shortly after and said, "Why the hell didn't you tell me you had a kid, I would have never set you up with Strader, he hates kids." He then topped it off with, "You don't look like the kind of girl that would have a kid." I was done. Head was down, I was focused on school and men were again not on my mind.

Greg, pursued a relationship with me. Knowing him better now, I think he was trying to make up for the situation he put me in. Frequently, I would be his date to a drug rep dinner or to a cocktail hour. He entertained me and made me laugh, but I had no intention of a serious relationship.

Throughout my relationship with Greg, Bryan would also attend the same events. He was very kind and always talked to me. After time, I stopped being angry with him and we became good friends. I accepted the fact that Bryan was a young physician who was determined and a girl like me would just get in the way. We never talked about it, and a beautiful friendship developed.

These men became my best friends. They came to Grace's 4th birthday party, they took me out to fancy dinners and they helped me heal. Bryan and Greg were great friends and I learned that Bryan could be just as crazy as Greg just not as girl crazy. It was a good year.

December rolled around and the hospital Christmas party was the buzz of the ER. Only physicians and their dates were invited. Similar to prom, every girl wanted to go. Greg invited me and I said yes, although I was disappointed that Bryan had not asked me first. Bryan didn't take a date and as Greg flirted with all the women at the party Bryan and I hung out.

My heart literally ached. Bryan was everything that I wanted in a husband, father and friend. It was just out of my reach. As Greg was off entertaining the females, Bryan escorted me to my car. In the elevator, Bryan leaned over and kissed me. It was a total Grey's Anatomy moment. I could not believe this was happening, but I was thrilled.

Later that week, I explained to Greg what had happened and that Bryan and I were dating. Nine months later on my birthday Bryan proposed. Greg, Bryan and I are still great friends. Greg married a wonderful woman and has 3 daughters. We see them often and remain close.

You never know what God has in store for your life. I am so blessed to be married to my best friend. He is an incredible father and legally adopted Grace when she was 5. He is my hero. Yesterday was his 38th birthday and this blog is for him. I love you Bryan!!!!