School Days

When Grace was in kindergarten I volunteered to be "homeroom" mom and volunteer in the class once a week. Out of pure pride I went into that classroom every week, played games with Kindergartners and planned ridiculous parties. I hated every moment of it. The homeroom mom thing is not my gift. So, when Grace was in 4th grade I did it again. Surely it would be better with older kids. Nope, they actually get worse.

Grace is in the 8th grade, Clay is in first and I will never be a homeroom mother again. Listening to my bus stop friends talked about volunteering caused a twinge of guilt that resulted in me volunteering once a month in Clay's class. Once a month could not be that bad.

Clay's teacher laid out instruction cards with projects for me to conquer. Perfect, I don't have to work with the kids. My son thinks I rock because I am in his class, but I get to leave and go to the teacher workroom! My assignment was to make 50 copies of 3 different handouts and cut them into fourths.

The coping machine was as big as my car, and the paper choppers were like huge guillotines. I was a bit intimidated by the high tech office machinery and thrilled at the same time. The copiers I am use print about 50% of the time and this baby shelled out 50 copies in 30 seconds.

Organized and collated I was ready to chop away. I cut and cut and cut some more. I couldn't get the papers equal and it was driving me crazy. I ended up having to make 100 more copies before I got it right. There was another mom in the room making dye cuts of leaves and pumpkins with grace and ease. She snickered at me when I said "I may get fired from cutting". When the teacher realizes how much paper I went through she may seriously reconsider letting me in the teachers work room again.

Watching my little man's face light up when I walked in the room made the adventure worthwhile. So once a month, I will go back to his school, kill a couple trees, and see a boy with a big toothy smile.

Clays questions of the week:

To Bryan:
How does God come to earth?
When you do surgery do you take out the evil spirit and put in a good one?

To me:
If I cut off my arms and legs will I die?
Can I build boobie traps in my room?
If I kiss a girl do I have to marry her?